“The Change”

WARNING:  Due to some graphic details, this post is not for individuals who have an aversion to potty humor.

All parents know that one day their children will go through “the change” and begin to take an interest in certain parts of the human body that they were previously unaware even existed.  Even though I knew this day was coming, somehow that didn’t make it any easier. I’m writing about it in today’s post in hopes that many of you can relate to what I’m going through and so that we can be a support to one another.  I think it best if I forgo tiptoeing around the subject and just come right out and talk about it.  Parker (our dog/child) is a BUTT MAN!  Yes, I said it, he likes butts (and I cannot lie) and he likes them any way he can get them:

He likes to eat butts – Things like Rump Roast, Hot Dogs (which, as we all know, are made up of butts and lips), Peanut BUTTer, and Banana Butts (you know, the end of the banana that resembles a certain unnamed orifice).

He likes to sniff butts – His own… Other dogs… Our friends… My bellyBUTTon!

Evidently, he even likes the taste of HIS OWN butt – I know it’s natural for children to explore their own bodies, but seriously?!?

Can anyone who has been through this phase with their child(ren) tell me if this is natural?  Should I be worried? Should I talk to him about it, or hope that he finds out what he needs to know from his friends and the internet? Help!

Thanks in advance for your words of encouragement.

Sincerely,

A concerned mom

Catch(y) Phrase Anyone?

Now that we’ve established local colloquialisms for our farm and crew, it’s time to come up with a slogan.  You know, a real attention grabber.  Something that makes you say “Hey, this place looks pretty cool/interesting/weird” (ok, maybe not weird….then again, if weird is your thing….).  I’ve ranked our proposed catch(y) phrases as either Honorable Mention, Bronze, Silver, or Gold as a tribute to the summer Olympics (which is currently taking place in Rio)

Honorable mention:

  • “Nature at it’s best”

Bronze Metal Winner:

  • “Till we meet again”

Silver Metal Winner:

  • “Majestic Farmacy, our employees are our farmily” (See what I did there? Combined Farm and Family to make a super awesome fan-diddly-astic word.)

Gold Metal Winners: (There was a 4-way tie because, well, I couldn’t choose just one)

  • MF‘ers. Because we love a good hoe” (speaking of hoes, how’s your mom?!?)
  • “Don’t be jackin’ our hoes”
  • “Hoes be running this place”
  • “We work with dirty hoes”

I’m interested to know your thoughts. Which is your favorite?

Here’s Your Sign

We made a trip out to our land this weekend and were admiring the custom metal signs that adorned many of the entrances to properties along the way.  In typical American fashion, after seeing the signs, I HAD to have one for our property.  Literally, my life could not go on until I came up with the PERFECT idea for our entry sign.  But what would it say? Do we put our entire name “Majestic Farmacy” or do we abbreviate?  And then it hit me.  In today’s busy world it is common practice for people to abbreviate their text messages and emails.  Acronyms such as LOL, OMG, BTW, ILY, and WTF (which obvisouly stands for Well That’s Fantastic) are widely used and recognized by individuals of all ages.  So, in order to keep up with the times, I’ve come up with a proposed acronym for our entry sign.

As you are aware, we are the Majestic Farmacy and we specialize in responsible farming practices.  The acronym on our entry sign is really a tribute to the men and women who help work the land (namely my dad, mom, husband, and myself).  Before I reveal the acronym, I thought it would be helpful to lead you through my thought process when I came up with this abbreviation.  Here goes:

If we are operating under the name Majestic Farmacy, then wouldn’t you say its accurate to refer to the men and women who work at the Majestic Farmacy as Majestic Farmers?  And if we are Majestic Farmers, would it not make sense to shorten our name from 15 characters to something much simpler, much easier to remember, and much more catchy, like MF’ers?  I mean, did we not establish that abbreviations are all but expected for businesses who are wanting to thrive in our busy society?

Just think about all of the possibilities.

  • Employee t-shirts printed with the helpful slogan, “Have a question? Ask me.  I’m an MF’er.”
  • Volunteer badges that proudly proclaim, “They don’t pay me to be an MF’er.”
  • Billboards, posters, and flyers that advertise how helpful our employees are, “If you’ve never had an experience with an MF’er, we’re here to help.”
  • Employee children will be known as “honorary MF’ers” until they are of age in which case they will graduate to “lifelong MF’er”

Ohhh the prospects… the GLORIOUS prospects…

Mom’s Little Helper

BRAGGING ALERT: I’m not trying to brag or anything, BUT our dog goes above AND beyond to help do his part around the house. I would like to take credit for his helpful disposition, but I’m sure he gets it mostly from his biological parents (yes he was adopted). I’ve spent the past few weeks secretly capturing the below pictures of him doing helpful things because I KNEW people wouldn’t believe me if I told them.

1) Parker helping plant our fall garden

2) Parker helping clean the pool (I swear, it is purely a coincidence that this picture is listed as #2… )

3) Parker guarding the house by keeping watch out the front windows (I found it suspicious that there HAPPENED to be sun in the EXACT spot where he was busily guarding the house, but Parker assured me that he was NOT sun napping.)

4) Parker cheering me up after a rough day

5) Parker keeping my chair warm (isn’t he just so thoughtful?)

6) Parker helping fold the laundry.

I seriously don’t know how I’d keep this house going without him. 😉

A Farm by Any Other Name (Or was it a rose?)

Earlier this year we embarked upon a joint venture with my parents and purchased 20 acres of land just outside of the major metropolitan area in which we live.  The dream of cultivating a large piece of land (well, large for us city folk) for gardens and orchards is both exciting (because I REALLY like to eat) and daunting (because there’s a lot of work involved in maintaining a farm).  Before we could start our endeavor we were faced with the difficult task of naming our acreage.  After much ado, I am happy to announce we are officially calling our piece of paradise (drum roll please…….)

The Majestic Farmacy (Get it?!? Majestic…as in my last name…. and Farmacy….. as a spin off of the word Pharmacy… Gosh we’re clever.)

Hippocrates is considered to be the founding patriarch of medicine and wisely stated “Let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food,” which is precisely what we aim to do!  I hope you’ll check back regularly to receive updated information on our farm.  Until then, may you find health and happiness!